Too Many Guilds, Too Few Scruples
Too Many Guilds, Too Few Scruples
A Dimir shadow-broker known only as Milana has stolen something precious from each of the five adventurers and locked it all inside a Azorius Senate high-security vault beneath Tenth District Plaza. To reclaim what is theirs, a Golgari druid, a Rakdos bard, a Selesnya paladin, an Orzhov rogue, and an Izzet sorcerer must swallow their guild pride, infiltrate a stuffy Azorius gala, crack an arcane vault, and survive a very angry surprise waiting inside. The catch: they have until midnight, the gala ends at midnight, and none of them can agree on literally anything.
Read Aloud
You are seated around a sticky table in the Crypt Rat Cantina, a bar so deep beneath Ravnica's streets that the ceiling drips something that is probably just water. A single guttering lantern illuminates five faces who would, under any other circumstances, be trying to ruin each other's lives. Pinned to the center of the table by a poisoned Dimir dart — classy — is a letter sealed with a two-faced mask. It reads, in elegant handwriting: "I have your Necrotic Spore Phylactery. I have your contract for the Rakdos Undercroft performance rights. I have your Selesnya Conclave sacred seed-token. I have your Orzhov tithe ledger — the real one. And I have your Izzet perpetual-motion schematics. All are in Vault Seven of the Azorius Archives beneath Tenth District Plaza. Retrieve them yourself, or I release each item to your guild's worst enemy by midnight. Warmly, M." Someone at the table quietly knocks over their drink. It was probably the Paladin.
Description
This is the hook scene. The five PCs have each received an identical summons to this underground bar and arrived to find the letter already waiting. Each PC's stolen item represents an existential threat to their guild standing or personal safety: the Golgari phylactery keeps the druid's swarm-symbiont dormant; the Rakdos performance contract is worth a literal fortune in soul-debt; the Selesnya seed-token is a sacred relic that, if desecrated, would shame the paladin's entire locket-clave; the Orzhov ledger contains enough blackmail material to ruin a dozen ghost-council pontiffs; and the Izzet schematics, if stolen by the Simic, would fund a bio-mechanical nightmare. Use this scene to let players introduce their characters through argument. They ALL hate this plan. They ALL have no choice.
DM Notes
Encourage roleplay chaos. Let each player state why their item is the most important. Run a quick group DC 12 Charisma (Persuasion) or Wisdom (Insight) check: on a success, one PC notices the dart that pins the letter is still warm — Milana was here recently, maybe watching right now. DC 16 Perception reveals a tiny Dimir glyph etched under the table: "Stop arguing. You have four hours." If the Bard tries to perform to lighten the mood, have the Golgari druid's fungal shoulder-sprout bloom in secondhand embarrassment. The Paladin should absolutely try to open with a prayer to Trostani; the Rogue should absolutely be stealing from someone at the table already.
Read Aloud
Tenth District Plaza gleams under enchanted lamplights, and the columned facade of the Azorius Archives rises before you like a monument to bureaucratic self-importance. Tonight it hosts the Grand Azorius Regulatory Gala — an annual celebration where senators congratulate themselves for inventing new laws about celebrating themselves. Formally-dressed sphinxes stand at the entrance checking invitation scrolls, their enormous wings folded with the practiced patience of creatures who have denied entry to thousands of people who really should have known better. A banner forty feet wide reads: "COMPLIANCE IS COMMUNITY." Through the tall glass windows you can see Isperia herself holding a glass of sparkling water and talking to nobody in particular. Every guest inside is wearing white, gold, or the specific shade of beige the Azorius have legally trademarked. You are wearing none of those things.
Description
This is the social infiltration scene. The party must bluff, charm, forge, or magically disguise their way past two Azorius Arrester guards (use Veteran stats, AC 17, HP 58) and the sphinxes at the door. They need invitations — forged or stolen — and appropriate attire. This scene should be pure comedic chaos as five guild members with wildly incompatible aesthetics try to look like Azorius guests. The Rakdos Bard will want to perform. The Golgari Druid's outfit will have mushrooms on it. The Orzhov Rogue will try to bribe a sphinx (it will not work; sphinxes find bribery philosophically offensive). The Izzet Sorcerer will attempt to invent a forgery machine on the spot.
DM Notes
Run this as a Social Skill Challenge: the party needs 5 successes before 3 failures. Each PC can attempt one check per round of planning. Suggested checks: DC 14 Charisma (Deception) to claim noble lineage; DC 13 Charisma (Performance) to distract the door sphinxes with flattery about their plumage; DC 15 Intelligence (Forgery Kit) to produce passable invitations; DC 12 Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) to pickpocket a real invitation off an arriving guest; DC 14 Charisma (Persuasion) using the Bard's Cutting Words to confuse a guard about his own shift schedule. Failure consequences: a guard becomes suspicious and the party must fast-talk a sub-guildmaster named Mathieu Grantlocke (pompous, monocleless, just lost his monocle) who can be easily distracted by sympathy about the monocle. Isperia is visible inside — if a PC waves at her confidently, she will wave back, confused, and the door guard will assume they are acquaintances. The Bard gets Bardic Inspiration uses here for free narrative comedy.
Read Aloud
Inside, the gala is every bit as magnificent and soul-crushing as you imagined. Enchanted string music plays from instruments with no players. Floating silver trays offer hors d'oeuvres that appear to be tiny scrolls made of pastry, each stamped with the Azorius seal. A hundred guests in white and gold murmur about legislation, property rights, and the correct way to queue. Isperia the Supreme Judge stands near the central fountain — a twelve-foot sphinx in an immaculate judicial robe — deep in conversation with a small, nervous man who appears to be apologizing for something he did in 9842 Z.C. Across the room, you spot someone you did not expect: Lazav, the Dimir Shapeshifter himself, wearing the face of a perfectly ordinary Azorius sub-clerk and radiating the specific energy of someone who has not been a perfectly ordinary sub-clerk for even one day of his life. He notices you noticing him and raises his pastry scroll in a small, terrifying toast.
Description
This scene serves two purposes: comic social roleplaying AND gathering the information they need to reach Vault Seven. The party must locate the vault access point (a service corridor behind the wine cellar, guarded by a golem) and obtain the correct access cipher. The cipher is written on a small card that Sub-Lawmage Dessa Vorant carries in her left breast pocket. Lazav is here for his own reasons (he is also interested in Milana's identity) but will trade one piece of useful information — the vault's magic countermeasure type — for a minor amusing favor, because Lazav finds mortals diverting. The party has roughly thirty minutes of in-game time before the vault access window closes at the shift change.
DM Notes
Lazav encounter: if the party approaches him, he knows they are not Azorius guests immediately but is delighted rather than threatening. He wants someone to spill a tray of pastry scrolls on Isperia's new judicial robe (purely for his own amusement). If a PC does this, he whispers that the vault has a Silence field on the inner door — meaning the Bard's spells will not function inside the vault room itself without workarounds. This is important for later. Dessa Vorant: DC 13 Charisma (Deception) to lure her into conversation about wine; DC 15 Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) to lift the cipher card. On a failure, she checks her pocket herself and the party has 1 round to improvise. The Rogue should shine here. Isperia: if approached directly, she is courteous but perceptive — DC 16 Deception to fool her. Failure means she politely detains one PC with a Suggestion spell (save DC 17) for five minutes of questioning about their invitation provenance. She is not hostile, just thorough. Award Inspiration to anyone who makes the table laugh.
Read Aloud
The service corridor smells of cold stone and bureaucratic anxiety — the specific kind of anxiety produced by people who know that somewhere, very important paperwork might be filed incorrectly. Gas-lanterns flicker along the walls at regulation intervals, because of course there is a regulation interval. At the end of the corridor stands a door of pure white marble veined with enchanted gold, and beside it, a construct that looks like someone tried to build a judge out of spare filing cabinets. It turns its head — a hinged brass box with two glowing receipt-paper eyes — and regards you with the energy of a creature that has issued fines for seventeen thousand violations and enjoyed each one. Above the door, etched in deep Azor script, are the words: "WHAT IS SUBMITTED CANNOT BE UNSUBMITTED." Someone in the party should probably reconsider their life choices right now.
Description
This is the vault break-in scene, a skill challenge plus one combat obstacle. The Animated Armor (the filing-cabinet construct, reskinned as an Azorius Compliance Golem) guards the corridor. The vault door has three sequential locks: a cipher input panel (the card from Dessa), a somatic key that requires a specific hand gesture matching a law-rune, and a resonance lock that responds to a specific Azorius legal phrase spoken aloud. The Silence field Lazav mentioned means the vault's interior will suppress all verbal spell components once the inner door opens — the Sorcerer and Bard should be warned.
DM Notes
The Compliance Golem uses Animated Armor stats (AC 18, HP 33, Multiattack slam x2, +4 to hit, 1d6+2 bludgeoning). It does not attack immediately — it first recites a list of violations it believes the party has already committed and demands they sign a Cease and Desist scroll. If a PC actually signs it (hilarious), it is satisfied for 1d4 rounds before checking if their signatures match their filed Azorius identities, which they do not. Lock 1: DC 10 Intelligence to use the cipher card correctly (the Rogue can add Thieves' Tools bonus). Lock 2: DC 14 Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) or DC 12 Arcana to mimic the rune gesture correctly. Lock 3: The Izzet Sorcerer can make a DC 13 Intelligence (History) check to recall the Azorius admission oath phrase; otherwise DC 16 Charisma (Performance) to convincingly recite legal gibberish until it works. Inside the vault, Silence is active in the inner chamber. Warn the party in-character with the sound cutting out as the door swings open. The Druid's non-verbal spells and the Paladin's Divine Smite still function. The Rogue is delighted. The Sorcerer is furious.
Read Aloud
Vault Seven is not empty. You know this because the air inside smells of ice and something older than stone, and because the six ornate lock-boxes arranged on the central plinth each carry a guild seal you recognize. Your items are here. But so is something else. In the corner, hanging from the ceiling like a very formal decorative fixture, is a cocoon of pure Dimir shadow-silk, roughly the size of a large wardrobe. As you step inside and the heavy vault door swings shut behind you, a small card flutters down from the cocoon and lands at your feet. It reads: "Congratulations on making it this far. Unfortunately, I need you kept busy while I attend to other business. Please enjoy my associate. Do try not to bleed on the filing system. Best, M." The cocoon splits open with a sound like tearing silk, and whatever unfolds from inside it takes one long look at the five of you, rolls its neck with a series of horrible cracks, and smiles with far too many teeth. Outside the vault, upstairs, the string music plays on, perfectly unaware.
Description
This is the climactic combat encounter. Milana has left a Flesh Golem (reskinned as a Dimir Stitched Amalgam — a composite horror assembled from assassinated spies) to keep the party occupied. The vault's Silence field is still active, crippling verbal casters. The room is 40 by 40 feet with six lock-boxes on a central plinth, heavy iron shelving units along the walls, and a ceiling ten feet high — no room for the Druid's flying Wild Shapes. This is the deadly encounter. The party is battered from the social and vault scenes. The Silence field is the great equalizer: Sorcerer and Bard cannot use any spell with a verbal component. See encounter card for full mechanics.
DM Notes
The real tension: PCs want to grab their items (each lock-box requires a DC 11 Thieves' Tools check or a bonus action for the Rogue's Cunning Action) AND fight the Amalgam AND avoid dying. Let them choose priorities. If any PC grabs their item, give them a small narrative bonus — the Golgari Druid whose phylactery is freed can use Wild Shape again without fear; the Paladin whose seed-token is restored gets advantage on one attack roll as Trostani's blessing floods back. The Bard cannot Cutting Words or Vicious Mockery. Reward creativity around the Silence field. Once all five items are retrieved, the Amalgam does not pursue outside the vault — it is bound to the room. Milana is never seen directly this session; she is a thread for future adventures.
Monsters
Tactics
The Golem does not attack on the first round — it spends its turn reading aloud the party's listed violations (the DM should improvise an absurd list: "Unlicensed mushroom cultivation. Unauthorized soul-tithe redistribution. Failure to register a demon contract in triplicate."). It will only attack if the party attempts to pass it without signing or otherwise subduing it. It uses both Slam attacks on anyone attempting to touch the vault door directly. If reduced to 0 HP it collapses into a pile of perfectly organized filing folders. The party should feel a little bad about this.
Terrain
A 10-foot-wide service corridor with gas lanterns on the walls. The corridor offers no flanking room — only one PC can engage in melee at a time unless they use shove or magic to create space. The shelving units lining the walls can be toppled (DC 13 Strength Athletics) to create difficult terrain that also buries the Golem for one round, giving the Rogue time to work on the vault door.
Monsters
Tactics
The Amalgam uses Flesh Golem stats (AC 9, HP 93, Multiattack: two Slam attacks, +7 to hit, 2d8+4 bludgeoning, reach 5 ft.; Berserk triggers at 40 HP or below; Lightning Absorption; Aversion of Fire). The vault's active Silence field means ALL verbal spell components are suppressed — the Sorcerer cannot cast Fireball, Suggestion, or any V-component spell; the Bard loses Vicious Mockery, Cutting Words is non-verbal so it still works via gestures (rule generously here for comedy). The Paladin's Divine Smite and Lay on Hands function fully. The Druid's non-verbal spells (Shillelagh, Healing Word is suppressed, Thunderwave is suppressed) still work; Wild Shape functions. The Rogue excels. In round 2, if the Amalgam enters Berserk mode, it begins hurling iron shelving units at random targets (ranged improvised attack: +5 to hit, 2d8+3 bludgeoning, 20-foot range). In round 3+, it starts smashing open the lock-boxes on the plinth — the party must choose between fighting it and rescuing their items as a bonus action (Rogue's Cunning Action). The Amalgam cannot leave the vault. It will fight to destruction. Each stitched assassin face on its body is a different guild member — a grim Dimir joke.
Terrain
A 40-by-40-foot vault chamber with 10-foot ceilings. Six ornate lock-boxes sit on a central stone plinth (difficult terrain to move around, but it provides half cover). Iron shelving units line the north and south walls — can be toppled onto the Amalgam with DC 15 Strength (Athletics) to restrain it for one round (Strength save DC 14 to break free). A single oil lantern on the east wall can be shattered to create a 5-foot fire hazard (the Amalgam's Fire Aversion triggers: DC 10 Wisdom save or lose its action moving away from fire). The vault inner door is sealed from inside, so the party cannot flee. There is no exit until the fight ends or all items are retrieved, at which point the binding on the Amalgam weakens and it becomes docile — Milana designed it to stop once her purpose is served.
A sealed glass vial containing a writhing black spore-cluster. For the Golgari Druid: while carried, their Wild Shape forms gain a Necrotic Bloom feature — once per short rest, when they revert from Wild Shape, each enemy within 5 feet takes 2d6 necrotic damage (DC 13 Constitution save for half). Narratively, it also keeps a specific symbiotic swarm from consuming its host from the inside, which is the important part.
A scorched velvet scroll sealed with a demon-face wax stamp. For the Rakdos Bard: proof of exclusive performance rights to the Undercroft stage worth 3,000 gold in soul-debt credit — redeemable from any Rakdos demon contractor. Also grants the Bard the ability to invoke Crowd Incitement once per long rest: a 30-foot cone Performance check (DC 13 for each creature) that causes creatures who fail to use their reaction to cheer, jeer, or otherwise express an emotion of the Bard's choice, potentially breaking concentration.
A living acorn, warm to the touch, that never stops growing a single tiny leaf. For the Selesnya Paladin: once per long rest, as an action, the paladin can plant the seed-token in any soil or crack in stone. A Vine Ward erupts: a 10-foot-radius area of grasping vines (difficult terrain, DC 13 Strength save or restrained for one round) centered on the planted point. The vines last 1 minute. Trostani approves. Loudly. In your heart.
A fat black ledger with a ghost-face embossed cover. Twelve ghost-council pontiffs have tithe irregularities documented in meticulous gold ink inside. For the Orzhov Rogue: possession of this ledger grants Leverage — once per session, the Rogue can invoke Orzhov Debt against any Ravnican NPC with guild affiliations, imposing disadvantage on their Insight checks against the Rogue and granting advantage on Intimidation checks, as the rogue implies they know exactly where the NPC's financial bodies are buried. They do.
Forty pages of dense arcane notation covered in coffee stains and margin arguments with the author's previous self. For the Izzet Sorcerer: studying these schematics (1 hour during a long rest) unlocks Overchannel Efficiency. Once per long rest, the sorcerer can cast one spell of 3rd level or lower without expending a spell slot. Afterwards, the schematics catch fire briefly (no damage) and the notation rearranges itself. The Simic will never, ever get their hands on this.
A strongbox under the plinth contains 340 gold pieces, 6 silver candlestick holders (25 gp each), and a sealed envelope addressed to Isperia marked URGENT: FORM 7-THETA ERROR — VORANT, D. The party will absolutely open this and realize Sub-Lawmage Dessa Vorant did, in fact, file Form 7-Theta incorrectly.
Story Hooks
Milana is still out there — she used the party as a distraction for a larger heist, the nature of which is unknown. Lazav's request for a future favor arrives three days later as a perfectly calligraphed note (smelling of different perfume than Milana's — or is it?). The Orzhov Ledger contains one entry that implicates not a pontiff but a living, high-ranking Azorius senator — creating a cross-guild tension that could fuel an entire next arc. Sub-Lawmage Dessa Vorant, once she discovers her vault was robbed and her cipher card stolen, will file an incident report of such thoroughness that it becomes a legal summons for all five party members — delivered simultaneously to all five guild halls, each with a personal note of bureaucratic disappointment.
Conclusion
Wrap Up
The party emerges from the service corridor into the gala — which is still going — disheveled, bleeding in at least two cases, and clutching their respective guild items like they have just been born again. The string music is playing a waltz. Isperia is still at the fountain, now talking to a different person who is apologizing. Nobody seems to have noticed the forty-five minutes of chaos beneath their feet. The five adventurers look at each other in the gold-lit hallway, each holding something they almost lost forever, and there is a moment — brief, uncomfortable, never to be acknowledged — where they are all genuinely glad the others were there. Then the Golgari Druid's shoulder-sprout releases a spore cloud in relief, the Rakdos Bard immediately begins composing a ballad about himself, the Selesnya Paladin tries to pray out loud and the Izzet Sorcerer tells her to keep it down, and the Orzhov Rogue is already three gold pieces richer from someone's coat pocket. All is as it should be. They exit separately, through different doors, as if they have never met, and do not make eye contact with the sphinx at the entrance who is definitely looking at them.
Cliffhanger
As the last party member steps into the cool Ravnican night, a folded note flutters down from a rooftop above — no dart this time, just a gentle drop, almost friendly. The handwriting is the same elegant slant. It reads: "Congratulations. You were very useful tonight. I have taken the liberty of letting each of your guild halls know you cooperated with four rival guilds this evening. I imagine that conversation will be interesting. Do not worry: I have something much more important for you next time. You work well together when you have no choice. Warmly, M. P.S. — You left the vault door open. The golem's filing folders are everywhere. Dessa is going to be so upset."
Next Session Hooks
- Each PC must now face their own guild's suspicion about their inter-guild cooperation — leading to a session of individual reputation repair that keeps pulling them back together.
- The larger heist Milana actually pulled off that night becomes clear: she stole the Implicit Maze navigation key from the Azorius Archives — something that could give whoever holds it control over the legal framework of all ten guilds.
- Lazav's favor arrives: he needs the party to attend a Simic Combine gala (yes, another gala) and retrieve a specific Dimir agent who has been... biologically modified against their will. Lazav says this with no irony whatsoever.
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